Layla is seven....im 28-soon to be 29. Isaiah is 5, Caleb will be 2 in June. That is a lot of time-of which i have no idea how i have spent it. Today is Friday...Tomorrow Saturday. We have a crazy schedule, we have a crazy house. lol. I have the incredible blessing of knowing my husband, being in love with him-being his wife. Chaotic is the way I would describe our schedule-I am feeling so many conflicting feelings right now. I don't like the Chaos-and I know that God didn't intend it to be this way. I am eager to get started on a book we will be reading as a Church. Making Room For Life-Trading Chaotic Lifestyles for Connected Relationships. I just want a permanent change within me to take place. I know it's not going to happen through a book- but maybe it can give me a little insight to what this is. It's not just chaos around me-I am chaos. I want to be more in line with my Heavenly Father-I want to be the example I am supposed to be-and I want to be healthy inside so I can be healthy outside. I know it can happen in the Name of Jesus. He has changed so much already-
So-here it is-my to do list. Things that need to change.
I don't need a spic and span house-just clean house.
Get healthy- I have been avoiding this for years-it's -in the words of Josefina the Wise- OUT OF CONTROL!
I need to be at peace with the past, let it go. I don't have to forget-I just need to move on.
I need to control my YELLING!!!!
Im ok-im not sad, depressed-I am actually quite happy with things right now-but there are just these areas that i can't quite grab a hold of. All in good time. I feel I am going to change...rather than I need to. Does that make any sense? Anyway-I am ranting now. Good night, good night. My love will be home soon. Family time awaits...and a four mile walk! : )
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