Pregnant....

My sister Crystal is having a baby boy, my best friend just found out she is going to have new baby by the end of this year.  I am just waiting for the third person to tell me they are awaiting a prince or princess....
I am in deep thought-and prayer.  An old feeling is coming over me, and I don't know what to think of it.  I have accepted that I will not carry another child in my womb...lol.  Is that dramatic enough?  But really-I have accpeted it, and I know that it is the right thing...haven't I?  You see, it's not really the baby at the end that I am longing for at this moment, but feeling that movement, that little flutter that grows into pushes and kicks.  I want to be pregnant.  Which is the strangest feeling, because I am so happy with my little family, very busy with my little family-and I know that I am finished...but maybe a better word is I miss it-and i know i will never feel that again.  I look back and wish that I had documted my pregnancies better-with video as well as pictures.  I suppose I will just have to live through Crystal and Renee.  ;0)